Here Have a Banana
by consultations
Summary: The third story in the "Banana" series. Comes after "Nine and a Galaxy". It's Theta and Andy's sixteenth birthday and everyone thinks it's going to go brilliantly, until about ten fifty in the morning. Rated T because I don't know how this will end up.
1. Chapter 1

**This is the third(technically fourth) and final in the _Banana_ series as I'm calling it. Comes after Nine and a Galaxy.**

**I'm writing this story while I post chapters for it. I don't know how it will end up but I hope it won't be longer then ten chapters. I think that this story will be mainly centered around the twins, but I'll do my best to get more Ten and Rose in it.**

Everything was quiet aboard the TARDIS one morning which was very unusual if you knew the family that lived inside it. The father who was tall usually in a brown pinstripped suit with white converse trainers. His hair was brown and messy with sideburns.

That man was the Doctor. He was absolutely in love with one Rose Tyler. She was stuck looking at the age of twenty eight for some unknown timey-whimey reason, which none of them cared about because Rose could be with him forever. She had blonde hair, beautiful eyes and a huge smile. She too was madly in love with her doctor.

Rose and The Doctor had a family for exactly sixteen years now. Twins, Theta and Andy. The boy, Theta was five minutes older than his younger sister. He had messy brown hair and was tall just like his dad. He was very curious like his father too, but he was caring like his mother. Theta could also talk up a storm that would make his own father quiet. Andy, short for Andromeda, on the other hand was blonde and beautiful like her mother, however, she had got her father's wanderlust and her mother's jepordy friendly genes. They made a good combination. One was never far from the other.

The four lived a happy life of travelling throughout the universe and saving people's lives everyday.

They often visited Earth. Cardiff in Wales to be percise. The Doctor's human biological meta-crisis, Adam Smith lived near the bay in a nice flat with his best friend, Donna Noble. The two worked part time at Torchwood with the twins godfather, Captian Jack Harkness.

It had been about six years since Jack, Donna or Adam saw the twins. Busy life of the time lords and all that. It had only been a year on Earth, though. The twins requested only one thing for their birthday. To see what family they did have since their father's side was gone and their mother's side stuck in a paralell world.

It was the least The Doctor could do to the twins, and to their makeshift family.


	2. Chapter 2

**Sorry for the lame first chapter. I promise the rest of the story is at least a bit more interesting than that!**

"Do you think The Doctor is behind this?" Donna asked as she walked towards Torchwood Tower with Adam beside her.

"It seems like it." Adam replied. "but you can never be too sure."

They looked ahead to see Jack emerging from the lift.

"There's Jack now." Donna said and they picked up speed.

"Hello Jack." Adam greeted.

"Adam, Donna." he greeted back. "By any chance did you recieve-"

"A letter?" Donna finished. Jack only nodded once. "We did too."

"What does yours say?" Jack asked.

"We were to wait outside Torchwood tower at eleven o'clock today." Adam said.

"Same here, did it say who it was from?"

"not a clue. I don't reconize the writing either." Adam shook his head. He blew out his cheeks and sighed. "I suppose We will find out soon. It's ten fifty-nine."

They waited the minute that remained and the three of them were on red alert for anything that might happen.

They heard the familar sound of a wheezing engine going in and out of focus. They saw the blue police box going in and out of focus in front of them.

Jack grinned brightly while Adam and Donna let out a single laugh of delight.

The TARDIS appeared fully and the engine stopped. It was oddly quiet as they waited for the family to come out.

The doors swung inward and Rose and The Doctor leaned out.

"Oh thank god you listened!" Rose said obviouly relieved they were there.

"We need your help! Theta and Andromeda are stuck!" The Doctor exclaimed.

The three Torchwood workers ran over to them.

"Stuck?" Donna questioned.

"Stuck where!" demanded Adam.

"Stuck in a parallel world!" Rose said "Now come on!"

She grabbed Jack's shirt and pulled him into the TARDIS. Donna and Adam followed him willing to do anything to get the twins back.

Rose broke down in tears then. Didn't even let go of Jack's shirt. He hugged her tightly and watched as The Doctor sat on the captain's chair with his feet on the console looking particularly miserable.

"Donna, you talk to him," Jack told her. "and Adam, work out a theory to get us to another universe."

Donna went off to sit next to The Doctor. Adam sighed.

"It would be easier if I knew which universe they went to!" he told Jack. He was already frustrated from thinking too hard.

Rose heaved in a big breath. "Pete's World." she cried and burried her face in Jack's shoulder to sob some more.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three. Reviews are nice too *hint hint, wink wink***

_Twenty minutes before The Doctor and Rose landed in Cardiff..._

"Good morning!" Rose said with a grin on her face when she saw her beautiful children come into the kitchen.

She held her arms out wide for her teenagers to hug her. They both hugged her too, grinning like their father.

"Happy birthday Theta and Andy." she stated.

"Thank-you mum." They said together.

"Where's dad?" Andy asked.

"At the console, like usual." Rose replied. "He's waiting for you."

Theta kissed Rose on the cheek and so did Andy before they raced to the console room. Andy won by a millimeter.

"I won!" she declared hands high in the air. "Dad!"

The Doctor looked up from the monitor and grinned. He held his arms wide as his daughter wrapped her arms around his middle. He hugged her tightly back for a moment before they both let go and he hugged his son.

"Happy birthday you two!" he said cheerily. He reached deep into his bigger on the inside pockets and pulled out two bananas. "Here, have a banana!"

They took them greatfully and sat on the captain's chair to eat. They were almost finished when Rose came into the console room.

"Are you ready for your birthday gift?" she asked them.

"I thought these were our gifts." Andy said, completely serious.

Theta swallowed his last piece of banana. "I'm fine with this." he agreed.

"No, no." Rose insisted. "A better gift."

"Maybe not!" The Doctor announced awkwardly.

Andy had finished her banana and looked over at her father. He looked worried and almost scared. She got up and walked to the monitor where he was looking.

"What is it?" she asked.

Theta joined her as The Doctor went to press a few buttons trying to fix the problem. He read it over quickly.

"It's just a disposal of huon particles from the heart of the TARDIS." he said looking up at his dad.

"That's why I'm worried. They'll latch themselves onto the closest living thing, and it has been for at least thirty seconds. Right where you two are standing." he explained holding the back of his neck.

"And that's bad, yeah?" Rose asked

"Well, it's debatable." he started. In about a minute, at ten fifty, the TARDIS is going to reconize the problem and try to dispose of it. Meaning you two will be transported as far as possible from here."

"Oh. That's just wonderful, dad" Andy said sarcasticly.

"I don't need your cheek." he told her pointing a finger "Once you're gone, we can track you down so no worries there, but we just don't know where you're going to end up."

"So what was our surpise since it'll take hours to fix this?" Theta asked with a shrug.

"We were taking you to see Jack, Donna and Adam." Rose said.

"How brilliant!" Andy grinned.

The clock turned ten fifty and the twins teleported out of the TARDIS.

It felt that their stomachs were going to come out of their mouths. It happened so fast that as soon as they realized they left, they stumbled onto white tiled floor. Andy managed to fall down completely.

"Are you okay?" Theta asked her. He held out his hand which she accepted greatfully.

Andy got to her feet and they both looked around. They were in a big kitchen with a small table in the corner and by the sink a woman who looked in her early fifties and blonde hair with dark eye make-up was standing with a dish in her hand, mouth open and everything.

"Oh hello." Andy said with a charming smile.

"Who the hell are you!" She demanded.

"Andromeda and Theta." she greeted. "And you?"

"Andy," Theta said to get his sister's attention. She looked over to him. "That's the woman on Mum's nightstand." Andy looked from her brother to the woman standing in front of them wide eyed with realization.

"Why am I on your mother's night stand!" She demanded setting her dish down and walking around the counter to look more intimidating. Her hands were on her hips and she looked extremely crossed.

Two males ran into the room then. One roughly the same age as the woman and the other looking around his late teens.

"Jacks what happened?" the older man asked. He saw Theta and Andy standing there. "Who are you?"

"Oh this is not good at all!" Theta announced. "This is beyond terrible!"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

_"Oh this is not good at all!" Theta announced. "This is beyond terrible!"_

"They look exactly like them, Jackie, but younger." the man whispered to her.

"What do you mean?" Jackie asked Theta

Theta continued to talk to himself and even pulled a chair out so he could sit and mumble at the table. Head in his hands talking so fast no one could hear what he was saying properly.

"Well," Andy started. "That's my twin brother, Theta Adam and I'm Andromeda Donna, just Andy for short. And you are Jackie Tyler and Pete Tyler, and you, I assume are Tony." he nodded towards the boy.

"How do you know us?" Pete asked defensively.

"You see, this is impossible, more like improbable now that it's happened, you know how he likes impossible, but point is, we're the offspring of The Doctor and Rose Tyler..." Andy said slowing down at the end.

"You're what?" Jackie asked completely shocked by this.

"We are, your grand children." she confirmed.

The three looked dumb strucked. After a few moments, Andy waved her hand. "Hello!" she said brightly.

"no way!" Tony said grinning.

"how do we know you are their children?" Pete asked suspiciously.

Andy sighed and walked up to him. She grabbed his hand and placed it in the middle of her chest.

"two hearts!" she exclaimed

"oh god, they are his children." Jackie said

"Hey, we're not just his. We're Rose's too." she defended

"oh shut up." Jackie said on the verge of tears. She grabbed Andy in a bone crushing hug. "oh my grandchildren!" she teared

"Help, Theta!" Andy whispered desprately. "Can't. Breathe!"

"That's it!" Theta said standing up and looking worry-less.

Jackie let go of Andy and pulled Theta into a hug. Andy gasped for breath.

"Oh god!" she said relieved. "air!"

Jackie let go of Theta and she looked at him with a happy smile.

"What did you think of?" Andy asked him

"Dad said that they will be able to find us. So, we're not stuck here. Which is good on all parts. All we have to do is open up the universe so dad can lock onto our signal and pull the TARDIS through. We might also need to get a hold of them first, got a webcam?" he looked at Pete or Tony.

"Tony, go get your computer." Pete said to his son.

Tony disapeared from the room. The twins looked to their grandparents.

"so, how old are you two anyways?" Pete asked

"sixteen." Andy replied "today actually."

"well, maybe not here, in this universe, but for us it is, back in our universe." Theta explained

"it's your sixteenth birthday?" Jackie asked. She turned to her husband. "I feel old Pete!"

"To make you feel any better, Mum still looks about twenty eight years old, you know, instead of almost forty-five." Theta tried

"my daughter is Forty-five!" she cried

"Theta, I think it's best if you shut up." Andy suggested.

Jackie grabbed Pete for a good cry on his shoulder. Tony came back into the kitchen with his laptop to find his mother in tears and his father consoling her telling the twins that it wasn't their fault. Frankly, he didn't really know what to do about it all.


	5. Chapter 5

Adam sat at the TARDIS monitor for about twelve hours trying to exactly pin point the twins location or even get more than a faded blip of them. Nothing was working.

"I can't figure this out!" he roared at The Doctor. "we need someone to open up the universes from that side of the void."

"blimey, that isn't good." The Doctor muttered. He sat down and put his hands through his hair. "Jack, can we get through?"

"not a chance." he responded "like Adam said, we need that side to be opened as well."

The Doctor sat back with a sigh. He put his feet up on the console and crossed his arms looking put out.

"they're alive?" Donna asked him

"yes." he replied "I'm just worried that they'll be in trouble. Last thing we need is to break into Torchwood to get them."

"nobody wants that." Rose said putting a hand on either of his shoulders "it's them. They're clever. I'm sure they are completely safe"

"I just worry, that's all." he said looking up at Rose.

"I'm worried too. You'll be a fool not to be. But let's be realistic." she started "they are fully capable of handling themselves."

"I miss them." he admitted to her

"I miss them too, love." she said

Rose bent down and kissed him before looking up to the rest of them.

"tea?" she asked weakly.

Everyone agreed and ten minutes later her and Donna came back with a cup for them all. Rose satdown beside the Doctor and Jack, Adam and Donna leaned on the console.

"you talk about them like they're adults." Adam said

"they are sixteen..." the Doctor said

Jack brought his cup down from his mouth. "what?" he demanded "they're are sixteen?"

"yeah." he agreed. "oh!" he realized what was wrong. "I guess we didn't tell you that."

"the little kids I knew are now sixteen?" Donna asked

"yeah. Busy life and all that." The Doctor shrugged

"what if they don't like me anymore?" Jack asked. He was clearly worried about this.

"Jack, don't worry." Rose assured him with a smile. "they wanted to see you all and all they talk about when your name is brought up is how cool you were."

"They like you more than they like me most days." The Doctor interjected.

"really?" Jack asked smiling.

"Yep." he said popping the 'P' "Things like 'Uncle Jack let us!' or 'When are we going to see Jack? He was so fantastic!'"

Jack had a smug grin on his face. "I can't wait to see them."

"Rose, do you have a picture?" Donna asked

"I have an entire photo album in their nursery. I'll go get it." she said

Rose got up and left. She came back with a large book.

"I didn't want to miss a thing." she informed Adam and Jack who looked gobsmacked at the size of it.

She opened it. "That was their first birthday. But you know all that. Oh! This is them at five years. And again at six..." Rose went on and flipped through many pages until she got to their fifteen birthday. Both of their hair were over grown. "this is them with the face of boe." she looked up at Jack breifly. "and this was taken about a week ago." She held up a photo of the twins at a planet sitting under a tree looking happily at their mother, who took the picture.

"She looks so much like you Rose!" Donna gushed

"and he looks exactly like us." Adam said.

Jack laughed. "They are beautiful." he agreed.

The TARDIS was silent for a breif moment as all of them looked that the picture.

A small -ding- went off. It came from the monitor. The Doctor, Adam and Jack jumped up at ran to the screen. Adam clicked a few buttons, The Doctor flipping a switch and all they could hear is radio static when they answered the call.

"hello?" a voice came through. It was still masked with white noise but it was something.

The Doctor hit a few buttons that cleared it away it some so they could hear who ever it was on the other side.

"hello?" he called again. It was Theta. "it says that they're recieving me. Mum! Dad! Can you hear me?"

"Theta?" Rose asked running to the monitor.

"oh I am very good!" he said and let out a single "Ha!" to show how excited he was.


	6. Chapter 6

**does a sorry count for being away for a year? sorry!**

"Theta, what type of name is that?" Tony asked.

Andy, Theta and himself were sitting in the kitchen as the two of them worked on the laptop pulling extra parts from the toaster and coffee maker so the laptop could work as a transmitter and a reciever. They were at it for about nine hours now. It was midnight and Jackie and Pete retired to bed for the night and Tony was asking a whole whack of questions about them.

"it's nine, in ancient greek." Theta responded. "now, shut up, I almost have it."

"are you sure this time?" Andy asked "Tony pass me that hammer."

He did was he was told and Andy promptly broke the toaster a little bit more.

"mum is going to be cross when she wakes up." Tony stated

"she'll be fine! Your sister coming here will make up for it." She waved him off.

"and a ha!" Theta cried turning something. Nothing happened. "Rassilon!" he said clearly frustrated. "Andy I need a conductor to attach to the reciever."

She handed him a wire from the toaster. "that should do it." she comfirmed.

Static appeared on the screen and Theta looked to Andy.

"we're almost home!" he shouted happily.

Theta entered the TARDIS basecode into the conputer and it strtes scanning for the corrrect frequency. This was going to take forever.

By three in the morning, Tony was passed out at the table. Andy, slumped against a wall almost asleep and Theta was just sitting infront of the laptop waiting for the signal to find the TARDIS. His eyes were drifting shut when he heard the sound of his mother telling someone about how they met The Face of Boe.

"hello?" he yelled at the screen.

Andy sat up and looked at the static. "what is it?" she asked

"Hello?" It says they're recieving me. Hello? Mum! Dad! Can you hear me?"

"Theta!" Rose said from the other side.

"Oh, I am very good!" Theta declared "Ha!"

"Hey, I helped!" Andy ptotested "mum, can you see us?"

"let me just reboot the visual component of the transmission..." Adam said

"Adam!" Theta said happily.

"One minute, and... There we go!" He said

The screen on the laptop turned blue for a second and then the transmission went through and he could see Adam, Donna, Jack and his parents. On their side they could see Andy, Theta and a sleeping boy in the background.

"oh, thank god you're safe!" Donna cried with relief.

"who's the kid behind you?" Jack asked

"hang on a moment," Rose stated "where are you two?"

"well, we're sort of in the Tyler mansion, and the boy behind us is our uncle Tony." Theta explained and he pulled at his ear nervously.

"oh god." Rose said. She covered her mouth and looked horrified. "that's little Tony?"

"he's eighteen now mum." Andy said "and frankly, he hasn't shut up about you since we came here."

"did you kill your nan?" she asked

"no, actually. She looked like she was going to kill us when we first came here." Theta said and Andy nodded in agreement.

"She's waiting to see you." Andy told her seriously. "When will you be here?"

"I'd say, four hours?" The Doctor guessed.

The twins nodded and watched as everyone ran around the console and checked the TARDIS for take off. Four hours later the Doctor sat back down at the monitor.

"okay, we're going to lose you, so I'm just going to stop this transmission. I want you twi to put back Jackie's toaster and coffee maker before we get there you hear me?" The Doctor told them sternly.

"yes dad." droned the twins.

"alright. I'll see you two soon." he nodded and stopped the transmission.

Andy turned to Theta. "Well brother, this has been an interesting birthday." she stated

"but we can't deny that it has been one of the best." he reminded her.

"this will be an entire page in mum's photo album for sure." she agreed. "now, let's get this toaster back together."

Andy placed the toaster back on the counter fifteen minutes later.

"There!" she said happily. "How's the laptop?"

"it should be okay." He told her.

Andy walked over to Tony. She tapped him on the shoulder. He didn't wake up. She shook him hard and he finally jumped in his chair, fully awake.

"hey, sleepy head. We've done it!" she said.

"they're coming here?" he asked excited.

"should be here any minute." Theta confirmed. "oh and we fixed everything for you."

"uh, thanks." he nodded his head to the toaster.

"just don't put it on high." Andy told him. "it might catch fire."


	7. Chapter 7

**I'm not exactly editing these thoroughly out of guilt. sorry, again. **

Donna fell into Jack and knocked him over. The TARDIS was unusually bumpy as it went through the void and into the parallel universe that Theta and Andy were in.

Rose was more nervous than relieved. Yes, she got her children back, but she would see her mother for the first time in seventeen years. And her dad, and her baby brother. He wasn't a baby anymore. She has never felt so... Old before.

The TARDIS landed and the rest who were standing were immediatley thrown to the grated floor. Rose was to her feet first and headed for the door. She opened up the double doors to find that they were in the back garden of the Tyler mansion.

She grinned and turned to her friends. "We're here." she announced happily.

The Doctor got up an put on his brown coat and took Rose's hand.

The five of them made their way through the garden towards the large white mansion. Rose led the way to the kitchen door. That's where her children were last.

She knocked on the window pane knowing the door was locked.

She waited until she heard the door unlock and open.

The blonde late teenager answered the door. He was a head taller than his older sister on the other side.

"Tony?" she asked

Tony nodded and Rose smiled widened to a huge grin.

She hurled herself at him and hugged him tightly. He patted her back lightly.

As they hugged her four friends entered the mansion.

"Dad!" Theta called happily.

Andy and Theta ran towards him and hugged him tightly. He hugged the both of them back just as tightly.

"You two are so clever!" he exclaimed.

He let go of the twins and smiled at them. They smiled back smugly. Just like their father would have done.

"My neice and nephew!" Donna exclaimed and hugged the two of them quickly placing a kiss on their heads.

"they're so big!" she continued to Adam and Jack.

"I missed you so much!" she declared.

"I think we all did." Jack piped in.

"Hello Jack!" Theta said happily.

"Theta, Andromeda." he greeted. He turned to Rose. "who's the kid?"

"My little brother Tony." she told him. "Tony, this is The Doctor. That's Adam, Donna Noble and Jack Harkness."

"hello!" The Doctor said with a wave of his hand.

Tony just smiled back at them.

"shall I make tea?" Rose asked

"Yes please mum." Andy answered.

"should I get mum and dad awake?" Tony asked Rose

"no just let them sleep. I'm sure they will have a heart attack either way."

Rose put water in the kettle and put the kettle on the stove for it to boil. She went into the cupboard and pulle out mugs for all. Tony found the tea bags and put one in each cup.

"Donna, still take your tea with sugar?" Rose inquired

"yes, thanks." Donna replied.

The kettle started whistling and Rose ran to get it before it got too loud. She poured the water and Tony diatrubuted cups to everyone. Rose went to set the kettle back on the burner when she dropped it.

The metal clanked loudly and Rose was sure that definatley woke her parents up.

"oh now I've done it." she muttered an cleaned up the hot water with a dish towel off the stove all the while trying not to burn herself.

The upstairs creeked and the group went deadly silent when they all heard two people decending the stairs


End file.
